Feedback and the Amygdala Hijack.

A recent blog focused on the idea of giving and receiving effective feedback in the workplace. Feedback is very important to ensure high levels of self-confidence and to promote improved performance. Unfortunately many workplace employees are not effective at giving or receiving feedback and will often avoid the feedback process as much as possible. One fear that exists is the fear of upsetting the individual receiving the feedback and essentially making the situation worse instead of better. Feedback needs to be properly managed which includes delivery at the right time. The worst time to give feedback to a fellow employee is during an amygdala hijack.

Ah-mig-da-lah what? An amygdala hijack occurs when our brain is in the fight or flight mode. Amygdala, is the part of our brain that is responsible for comparing incoming information with our past emotional memories. A hijack ensues when we are completely overcome with fight or flight emotions (and other brain functions) and as a result logic and reasoning are thrown out of the window. It is protection, in motion, real-time.

In the workplace it is important to avoid feeback in very intense emotional situations. During these times most of what will be heard, felt, or given is an outright character attack. Employees need feedback, they need constructive and useful feedback. Employees who receive no feedback will lose confidence in their abilities and assume that their efforts do not make a difference. Choose the right time for feedback, create a culture of performance feedback and watch the motivation and morale of employee teams grow.

 

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Feedback Makes Us Better!

If you were doing something wrong, or something that could be improved, would you want to know about it? Most employees would quickly answer “yes” to this question. Then why do we sometimes struggle with the feedback process? Many fear upsetting co-workers, supervisors, or direct reports. The fear of the unknown or the conflict that may develop makes some employees steer clear of anything even remotely connected to the feedback exchange.

Feedback does not have to be a confrontational situation, often I suggest to organizations to think of it as a conversation, not a confrontation. Organizations that develop a culture of effective feedback, both giving and receiving are typically higher performing organizations when compared with those that do not. In some organizations feedback is abundant, in others we have to dig deep to get the feedback, and in some cases we may have to self-assess and provide our own feedback.

One key element of the feedback exchange is to create an atmosphere of providing feedback that focuses on helping the recipient succeed. Feedback should not be about an opportunity to humiliate, devalue, or disrespect a fellow employee, it should be about helping them succeed. High performing organizations utilize feedback systems that allow the process to go upward, downward, and horizontally throughout the organization, it is not just about supervisor to direct report.

Do you utilize effective feedback systems in your organization?

 

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Reliability Builds Trust

If asked, would other co-workers describe you as reliable? Reliability helps build trust and in many cases a lack of trust represents a missing link for building effective teams.

Have you ever asked a co-worker for help on an assignment and have been let down? Have you shared duties or responsibilities in a team environment where someone didn’t do their part? These circumstances or situations could lead to a lack of trust in the future. 

In team environments everyone must be committed to doing their part, more importantly the team as a whole needs to be committed to managing the unexpected. Simply put - teams who are better prepared to manage the unexpected will be more effective and productive than those who are not. Here are a few tips for managing the unexpected:

• build contingency time into projects or tasks
• avoid procrastination, get started early
• prioritize and avoid perfectionism when appropriate

As teams develop and evolve remember that not all members will contribute in the same manner, quantity, or quality. Being reliable to your team will make you a valued member. Reliability in turn builds trust – teams that have more trust in each other will produce better results.

Are you reliable? Can I trust your answer?

 

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Spotting Conflict: A Lesson in Emotional Intelligence

Conflict surrounds us in nearly every workplace. Spotting conflict and recognizing how to manage it is an important skill for all employees.

Do you know when a conflict is about to erupt? In many cases employees fail to read the warning signs of conflict. Keeping in mind that not all conflict is bad, and that typically bad or harmful conflict is really mismanaged conflict, we can watch for conflict that is about to erupt. Here are a few warning signs:

Body language – Changes in facial expressions, especially looking away, tightened lips, narrowing or raising eyebrows. Arms crossed, changes in leg position when sitting, and stepping back or turning away.

Tone – Listen carefully for feeling. Increased volume (level), changes in pitch higher or lower, crackling or wavering.

Words – Anger words, blaming, speed of delivery (faster, more rapid), referencing the past or unrelated issues.

Our ability to read the signs of conflict can drastically improve our workplace effectiveness. In fact, the ability to spot conflict is often considered to be part of our emotional intelligence. Many workplace issues are emotionally charged, those who watch carefully for emerging conflict and then utilize their problem solving or negotiation skills to manage the situation will have stronger more committed workplace relationships. Can you spot conflict?

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Workplace Conflict: The Good, Bad, and Ugly

Conflict in the workplace is very common. Nearly anytime we have people interacting with other people, it isn’t long until some type of conflict develops. Is all conflict bad? Many experts believe that there are many different types or forms of conflict. When managing conflict we may discover that not all conflict is bad, in fact some believe that harmful conflict is really just mismanaged conflict.

The good, bad, and ugly sides of conflict can be described as follows:

Good – learning from conflict, new product or service breakthroughs, appropriate and well managed competition 

Bad – ignoring issues, not dealing with situations, criticizing and complaining instead of managing

Ugly – low morale, self protection behaviors, high employee absenteeism and turnover

Effectively managing conflict is the key to minimizing harmful workplace conflict. When working with employees and teams we should adopt a collaborating style to effectively manage conflict. This style which could be described as high on assertiveness and high on cooperativeness will likely produce good conflict when managing conflict situations. Unfortunately many organizations have employees, supervisors, and managers that quickly adopt an avoiding style to managing conflict. When we avoid managing conflict the outcomes are typically bad or ugly. Here are three tips for managing workplace conflict:

1. Master the skill of emotional self-control
2. Do not shut down or out, stay involved
3. Listen carefully – attempt to gain understanding of both sides

Conflict is natural and is not always bad. Employees who approach and manage conflict properly will discover that less time is wasted on dealing with people issues and more time is spent being productive. Are you effective at managing workplace conflict?

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