Excuses or Results?

The brutal truth is that not everyone is cut out to obtain the success that they dream about. In some cases they may have unrealistic expectations and in other cases they just don’t remain focused and committed to their dream. Setbacks are commonplace and may require adjustments in the plan but success still can be achieved.

On your path to success results are what matter the most. Assessing the past is important, but often people drift into the blame game or make excuses for their shortcomings as they consider past experiences. You should only carry forward the lessons that you learned and not dwell on uncomfortable or embarrassing past performance.

Three critical factors separate those with excuses from those with results:

1. visualization
2. patience
3. persistence

Are you on the path and committed to achieving your success?

Are you making excuses or getting results?

- DEG

Balancing Commitments and Delivery

Assertive employees often raise their hand for new assignments, additional workload, and the opportunity to show their worth. They seek new challenges and expect to deliver; they picture themselves holding up the end result like a trophy and everyone congratulating them for a job well done. This sometimes happens and they become fast-trackers, moving onward and upward faster than anyone could imagine.

What about the others?

Others are sometimes assertive on the front side, they crave opportunities, they willingly offer to take on new tasks and assignments, but the bad news is, they seldom deliver. Perhaps it is over commitment, or a very limited span of attention. Perhaps it is their need for the feeling of belonging, of being visible, or being valued by the group. Sadly their promises often fall short of expectations and the people, teams, and even the entire organization feel let down and dissatisfied.

If this is you, an overcommitted and stressed out employee armed with good intentions but lacking the time and resources to deliver, there is good news. Control your urge to over commit by realizing that it isn’t what you volunteer for that counts, it is what you deliver. Find the balance between commitments and your ability to deliver.

The fast-tracker already figured this out!

 

- DEG

Persistent – Going Beyond Average

We know about averages because we have high performers and low performers. Somewhere near the middle of those two extremes we have the average performers.

People often talk about what could have been, what they knew would work but they never tried, and what they tried but because luck was against them it didn’t work. Let’s face it, not everything will work on the first try, and some things that we try may never work; but successful people are persistent.

Persistence often makes the difference between those that achieve something great and those that settle for mediocrity. While some people may be very happy with being average, many are looking at the top achievers and feeling envy. Those who are average but want to be more are often limited by their focus. Their focus is on being average, not achieving greatness.

If you are an average performer who wants more, stop just doing enough to get by. Being on top doesn’t come easily; persistence and focus make the difference between high achievers and average performers.

Look around – are you average? What are you doing about it?

-DEG

Expect to be Tested

Learning new behaviors or replacing bad habits with good isn’t necessarily that difficult. Making them stick sometimes can be.

Depending on your tolerance for relapse or your level of confidence sometimes small setbacks can feel like change failure. Nearly everyone exploring something new or reaching for higher levels of achievement will face unexpected setbacks.

The good news is that just like reaching for more you can also condition your response to the unexpected. Expect the unexpected. Expect to face some relapse or setbacks. Expect to be tested. When you expect to face challenges and you are prepared to push through them suddenly it seems to feel like part of your fate, your destiny.  These “tests” prepare you for the next phase of your journey.

Will you pass the test?

Confidence Required

This may seem very apparent but have you ever noticed that successful people have higher levels of self-confidence? In many cases they may analyze choices, options, and strategy in a completely obsessive manner but regardless they still have confidence.

Is this a chicken and the egg scenario? Which comes first?

Self-confidence is typically considered to be made up of two primary factors, self-efficacy and self-esteem. Lower levels of one or both factors will result in a lower level of confidence. Here is the good news – both factors can be developed. You are not born with a fixed or predetermined level of self-confidence.

Do you want to improve your self-confidence? Here are two easy ways to get you on the right track:

1. Visualize your future, plan, prepare, be realistic and think about small wins on your way to your goal
2. Defeat negative self-talk, promise yourself you are committed to your success, surround yourself with positive people and thoughts

Successful people are confident. They have healthy amounts of both self-efficacy and self-esteem. They are balanced.

Do you have the confidence required?

Don’t think it - know it, get it, grow it!

 

- DEG

Growing from Stress

So much has already been written on the subject of how to reduce stress, have you considered what are the positive benefits (if any) of working through very stressful situations. I argue that there is a positive benefit, and the positive benefit is that you learn and grow from extreme stress.

 

Extreme stress allows you to discover what you are capable of, what really makes you tick, and how to better manage stress in the future. Here are a few examples of situations that may push you to achieve new growth:

1. College students, especially those maintaining both jobs and academic studies
2. Goal or quota expectations that are a stretch, but you find a way to make it happen
3. Unexpected change and adverse conditions that temporarily set you back
4. Managing work, life, and raising children, especially in single parent situations
5. Combinations of any of the items (1 - 4) listed above

Rather than being overcome by extreme stress, discover ways to push through it, learn from it and grow. Short term you may be out of balance with work and life commitments, but recognize that your decisions and choices can and will make a difference in the future.

Learn something about who you are, don’t eat crow – make a plan and GROW!

 

- DEG

Take the Stairs

It’s sadly amazing the number of people that I talk with who tell me they want more, they want a better job and more success, yet they feel they are not worthy of achieving it. I hear every excuse about what “might happen” or “what if this happens” and I hear very little “I’m going to make it happen.”

Here is the good news, these are normal thoughts for many people and success is just a few steps away. If you can dream it, if you can see it, you can start on the path to getting there. Here are five simple steps to help you get there:

1. discover your dream
2. plan the steps to get there
3. start taking steps, reasonable risks 
4. constantly exceed your expectations
5. reflect on accomplishments and push for more

Like a ladder or stairs, the steps should be reasonably separated allowing you to move from one step to the next without a big jump. In contrast to this analogy, life or your career may not always present opportunities in equal increments. Some steps may be more of a stretch then others. This is where risk and reflection will be important factors in your success.

I like taking the stairs – do you?

- DEG

Pleasing Everyone

Have you ever tried to please “everyone?” Trying to please everyone can be amazingly frustrating.

Have you ever felt like there are too many choices? Have you felt confused, not knowing which option to pick? Do you worry that the outcomes of a decision or choice you make will cause anger or hurt to another person?

At times, by our own desire, we may seek a wide variety of options. However, limiting our choices and narrowing options will be less confusing and make us more confident in our selection. In order to make a good choice there is always a balance between having the widest array of opinions and options and choosing a responsible path.

The good news is, recognition of too many opinions and not enough commitment to a choice or a path can be avoided. Don’t try to please everyone, don’t pursue every recommended option. Select your path, make your choice. Be committed to your choice. Start by thinking – “Yes, I can do this. I’ve got this one!”

Confusion is frustrating. Pick your own path!

Beware of the Masquerade

There is an old mantra, “Keep your friends close but your enemies closer.” Many of us have probably heard this or other similar rants regarding people and friendships. If you explore the discussion of friends in the workplace you will often come across people who are very willing to tell their story about a once beautiful friendship that has gone painfully wrong.

There may be many reasons for this, some of which include: misunderstandings, poorly communicated changes, and unfortunately -jealously. It is one thing to be aware of a problem or grievance with a person, but it is yet another type of situation when people are masquerading themselves as a very close friend, meanwhile they do not have your best interest in mind.

Friends matter, people matter, and relationships that you build matter, what doesn’t matter is trying to please those persons who will never share in your enthusiasm, energy, and success. There will always be someone who doubts you, there will always be someone who is jealous or envious, and there will be someone who pretends to be your friend who is not. Don’t get caught in the masquerade trap, free yourself and stay focused.

Here is the great part. You have the option to take a position, your position. Make the decision to pursue what you believe and you will feel alive, free, and focused. Accept advice, listen to friends, but beware of the masquerade.

It’s a party I’m not attending – are you?

- DEG

Victim or Champion

There are those who are always blaming someone else when their decisions turn out bad. Often referring to themselves as the victim they tend to view outcomes of their life as fate or some predetermined destiny.

If we believe in fate, then we must also believe in the concept that fate presents us with choices. Those choices and their associated outcomes are not predetermined, but provide us with opportunity. While it may be true that we can be the victim of a crime, we have an opportunity to create our own destiny.

Successful people persevere, they take risks, confront fears, and they assume responsibility for their future. They are not the victims of their own life, they are the champions.

Are you creating your destiny? Are you a champion?

- DEG

Love the Underdog

Rocky Balboa from the famous Rocky movie series was a tremendous success as the underdog. There was the 1969 Super Bowl where the New York Jets defeated the then Baltimore Colts. In the 1980 Winter Olympic Games it was team U.S.A. that defeated the heavily favored Russian team. People often rally behind the underdog and sometimes develop strong dislike for the “popular” champion.

What is it about the underdog that we admire? Our desires to do something different, a feeling of hope for equity, or could it be a hidden lust for growth of our own self-confidence?

Underdogs are fighters, they are persistent, they seem to develop confidence through small wins. They often represent the person or team who has not had great success or who appears clearly out matched. They develop belief in themselves, take risks, embrace change, and jump in to get things started. 

Underdogs create their success. What’s stopping you?

- DEG

Take a Position

Sometimes people believe that taking a position is a dangerous idea. While evaluating the risk of taking a particular position and considering the pros and cons they conclude that the cons outweigh the pros. There may be some circumstances and situations where this perceived risk is real and there may be situations where it is merely a negative fantasy. Despite the potential consequences there may be some benefits to taking a position.

Taking a position may establish new friendships, give you more respect, and result in previously unknown opportunities. Some of this depends on how you evaluate or analyze risk and popular wisdom suggests that there are “two sides” to every story.

Many people take a position on the environment, on politics, and on guns. Taking a position is not necessarily bad. Your position may differ from others or even from “popular” opinion, but taking a position shows you are real and not “playing games” with others ideas or values. Knowing exactly where someone “stands” promotes trust, even if that position differs from your own.

Keep it real – take a position!

- DEG

Let’s Be Honest

Most people are reaching for something more, some barely dare to dream about it, others make it happen. Those who make it happen have the drive and the ability to push through any barriers that threaten their success. Self-confidence is a big factor, and while some people settle for the idea that they don’t have enough self-confidence others go out and get it.

Self-confidence can be built; often it is built by taking small risks. One small risk that ends in a new accomplishment builds you up for another risk, and another, and so on. Let’s be honest though, sometimes our risks end in failure. This is what separates the dreamers from the achievers. Those who take a risk and fail learn more and come back better than before. Setbacks don’t bring them down; they refocus and use the experience to bring them up. It’s not about luck, it is about desire.

Those who really want it will achieve it!

So let’s be honest – do you want it?

- DEG

7 Steps to Improved Self-Confidence!

Self-confidence is something that many of us wish we had more of, and at the same time some workplace employees may have too much. As with most workplace skills and competencies an appropriate balance of self-confidence is important for success.

Let’s assume that you are not over-confident and that you (like many people) are sometimes searching for a little extra confidence to give you additional influence or power in your workplace role. If this applies to you, consider these sevens steps for a more confident you:

1. Consider your past achievements – think about 5 or more great things you have achieved, create a list and keep it accessible, refer to it often.
2. Analyze personal strengths – what are your strengths and weaknesses? What are opportunities and threats?  Consider a personal S.W.O.T. analysis.
3. Consider what is important to you – what things are truly important to you? Think about reaching for things that are important, but take small steps.
4. Defeat any negative self-talk – negative self-talk can be very damaging. You must develop a personal mindset that is positive. Find something positive in each day, choose to focus on that item or thought.
5. Promise yourself you are committed to succeed! – Make a personal pledge to yourself that you are committed to success.
6. Build your knowledge – learn, identify skills necessary to reach your goals or targets, consider past mistakes an opportunity to refocus, it is important to remain positive and think forward!
7. Start with small goals, celebrate, and grow – each small step is a piece of your success. As you begin to achieve some small reachable goals, stretch a little and go further. Celebrate your success and reflect, you may be surprised how far you have come.

Remember that self-confidence includes a balanced approach, too much confidence can be just as harmful as too little!

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